This is Why I Hate and How It Makes Me Feel

I’ll admit I have been a hatemonger. As a matter of fact, I still am.

There. I said it: I am a hatemonger.

I Developed This Hate At The Age of 10

And I have been since 1974. Prior to that, I didn’t understand what hate was – how hurtful it was, and just how devastating it could be. Yet, in 1974, at the age of 10, I developed a hatred that has blazed in my soul and churned in my heart. This is a hatred directed towards a group of people – not just some object or ideology, but flesh and blood people who are in many ways just like me. But they are not like me, or at least I could never appreciate that they could be, because of what they stand for, because of what they profess, and because of what they believe.

Now anyone who knows me will know exactly the group of people for whom this hatred burns. Anyone who knows my passions knows the depth of the hatred. Imagine – I, the doctor, the person who treats all people, who has no prejudices except for this one that I am now discussing, the person who strongly believes all people are equal – I am professing hatred. Yet, the animosity is so strong that I am publicly proclaiming here, for all to read, that I have hatred directed toward a group of people whose anatomy and physiology generally resembles that of my own.

Yes, I am a hatemonger. I admit it. Here, furiously typed out into Microsoft Word and edited for all the world to see, I am spewing a doctrine of hate. So here it is: my hate agenda, my hate manifesto, my hate doctrine.

I Hate the Philadelphia Flyers

I hate the Philadelphia Flyers – the team, their fans, their logo, the color orange, the “City of Brother Love” ridiculousness, the hoagie, the old Spectrum, the new Wells Fargo Center, and even the the Eagles/Phillies/76ers because they are from Philadelphia.

Of course, being a person of intelligence, I can explain with great rationality my reason for this hatred. In 1974, the Philadelphia Flyers defeated the Boston Bruins – my Boston Bruins – in the Stanley Cup finals, four games to two, becoming the first team from the 1967 NHL expansion to win the Stanley Cup. And, at the beginning of each Philadelphia home game, Kate Smith was paraded out to sing “God Bless America,” which somehow magically transformed those Flyers into a powerhouse that defeated my favorite team, the team I live and die for: the Boston Bruins.

The Foolishness of Hate 

There it is – a rational, intelligent, and comprehensive justification of a hatred that began at age 10, and that has grown in strength and fervor to the present time.

Does anyone else see how ludicrous this is? I certainly hope so.

Yes, at age 10, I was devastated that my team lost. And yes, and it has been a long running joke in my a family that I “hate” Philadelphia because of the Flyers.

The reality is that I have no aversion to Philadelphia. In fact, I enjoy it. I did my surgical robotics training there, enjoyed the historical sites, and embraced the hospitality of the people. I devoured a Philly Cheesesteak (with Whiz, of course), and recalled the toothless grin of one of my all-time hockey idols, Bobby Clarke. I will admit that I did text back to my kids a picture of a store sign near Temple Medical School that stated boldly, “WE SHIP TO PRISONS” and I added the caption, “You know you are in Philadelphia when you see this.”

So why do I write this? I want you to consider the hatred I described and how foolish it is.

Of course, it is not rational or justifiable. In fact, it’s downright silly to hate a group of people, all Philadelphians who are sports fans, because their team defeated my team. Because of the colors they wear, the beliefs they have. They are hockey fans, just as I am. They worship the same hockey gods, only in front of a different altar, a hockey rink in Philadelphia.

Animosity in the World Beyond Sports

Yet, every day on the news, we hear of atrocities perpetrated and wars that rage on, fueled by hatred, and rationalized and justified by people who are unrelenting in their belief that their faith, their politics, their doctrines are the correct ones, the true ones, the divine ones. I realize that it is a stretch to take a sports rivalry and extrapolate that to global crises and conflicts, but in many ways the similarities, and in my opinion their irrational nature, are striking.

We have global conflicts over the religion, with each group claiming that theirs is the true religion, and all others are blasphemous and heretical. Yet aren’t those religions all answering to the same higher power? Within religions, we have sects fighting in devastating civil wars, blurring religion and politics, with the consequences always the same – death of civilians, devastation of cities, and displacement of populations.

Hatred at Home in the United States

There is hatred directed toward various groups here in the United States.  We’ve always seen these acts of hatred against minority groups here at home, but lately, the number of incidents has increased exponentially. Jewish tombstones overturned in St. Louis. African-American parishioners killed by a white gunman, LGBTQ veterans excluded from parades.

Labels continue to be used as a lightning rod for hatred, which is no different from my hatred at age 10 for that Flyers’ logo and orange jersey. A hatred of all Muslims because of the existence and actions of a radicalized faction. A hatred of Democrats by Republicans, and of Republicans by Democrats, has created polarization that seems insurmountable.

As a doctor, I wonder if the Affordable Care Act will be replaced by the Republicans’ American Health Care Act because it is truly better, or simply because the Republicans have so much hatred for an Act instituted by the Democrats. And the hatred continues. The glass ceiling that prevents women of all races, creeds, ages, socio-economic groups, and orientations from moving into top positions. And, conversely, a hate I have heard more and more recently – the hate for white men.

And the hatred continues. The glass ceiling that prevents women of all races, creeds, ages, socio-economic groups, and orientations from moving into top positions. And, conversely, a hate I have heard more and more recently – the hate for white men.

I have read increasingly about the evils I have apparently perpetrated as a white man. Although I have friends of various nationalities, sexual orientations, religious convictions, and both genders (and at least one friend who is in transition), I realize that I am at times sitting in a conversation with people who are “calling me out.”

As a physician, I take pride in treating people from all walks of life. Religion, race, economics, sexual orientation, gender, and ethnicity – none of these things have any bearing except for my being attentive to any individual medical and cultural needs related to these specifics. I have had female mentors, such as Dr. Jo Shapiro at Harvard Medical School, and I have trained female students and residents, such as Dr. Nina Shapiro, who have reached the top of our profession and with whom I am proud to work. I have worked with minority groups in terms of providing community health, mentoring people with interests in a medical career, and volunteering to teach music to kids in our inner cities.

I am not downplaying the cultural divides that exist, but I do take offense at hatred directed at groups, be they white, black, Muslim, Jew, gay, female – the list goes on.

I have worked with minority groups in terms of providing community health, mentoring people with interests in a medical career, and volunteering to teach music to kids in our inner cities. I am not downplaying the cultural divides that exist, but I do take offense at hatred directed at groups, be they white, black, Muslim, Jew, gay, female – the list goes on.

Even Christians Judge Other Christians

I was speaking with a person at a coffee shop recently who was telling me about some travels she was planning on behalf of her church group. I love to talk to people about their interests and activities.  I definitely do this when I am speaking with patients, as the William Osler concept of treating the whole person, not just disease, rings true for me. This particular woman was going to help build some houses in a rural area of the United States. She proudly stated, “I’m very involved in my church. I’m a Christian.” I said casually, “I’m Christian, too. That’s a really great community service you’re doing.” She asked me which church I went to, and I told her St. Augustine’s Catholic Church. She then responded, “Oh, you’re a Catholic. You’re not a Christian.” Really? Besides the fact that her tone made me wonder if I had leprosy, I thought to myself, “I’m pretty sure that guy hanging on the cross, center stage at our church, is Christ.” My point is that there again were those labels, in this

My point is that there again were those labels, in this case, “Christian” and “Catholic,” which for some will bring up a series of images and beliefs about the other person that may be completely wrong. Yet these beliefs are so firmly and fervently held as truth and dogma that, on a greater level, people are willing to fight to the death, to persecute others, and to destroy their own nation through civil war.

Why does this hatred continue? African people taken as slaves. Jewish people exterminated in Nazi Germany. Shia versus Sunni Muslims. Ancient Egypt, Spain at the time of the Inquisition, the Middle East today. The presence of hatred, and its deadly actions, pervade history and traverse geography.

There is an irony I see here. Although groups justify their hatred on the basis of their beliefs and ideologies, hatred itself is not discriminating. Hatred will attach itself to any group that is willing to accept it.

Radical groups that hate Western Society, Western Societies banning Muslims who seek to enter westernized countries, men who want to suppress women’s equality, women who see all men as creating obstacles to their success, whites who see minorities as a threat, minorities who see whites as the enemy.

Is anyone else as tired of this as I am? Does anyone else think it’s time to try to bridge these gaps?

Moving Beyond the Hate

I’m not naïve. I know there is prejudice. I know that people are discriminated against. I don’t propose that we disregard or ignore negative activities that are conducted and perpetrated against individuals or groups because of their gender, race, sexual orientation, or the like.

But the hatred we see against groups because of the activities of the radicalized is not productive. We cannot ban Muslims from certain countries – we can make sure the vetting process is careful and yet non-prejudicial for all people entering our country. We cannot alienate or hate a group because of a small minority of people who are guilty of discrimination, of holding others back, or of perpetrating hate crimes. We must prosecute them for what they have done, without ourselves creating hatred against a larger group to which we ascribe them (“The Gays,” “The Blacks,” “The Whites,” “The Muslims,” etc.).

The greatest mistake we can make is to fight hatred and hatemongers by becoming the very thing we seek to abolish – becoming hatemongers ourselves.

One final thing.  As I am typing this, the puck just dropped on March 11, 2017, at 1:00 pm at the TD Garden in Boston – Bruins versus Flyers.  I know what I am doing this afternoon.

 

Arthur M. Lauretano, MD, MS, FACS

March 11, 2017

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